A Lenten Confession
A Lenten Confession
1 Corinthians 1:18-25 New International Version
18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written:
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise;
the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”
20 Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21 For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22 Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24 but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.
***
I was a confident, if not brazen young adult. I had my opinions and was certain that they were well thought out, informed, learned, and intelligent conclusions. More than once I had someone more aged than I say to me “when you are older you will think differently.” I dismissed their notion as pretentious. I thought, who do they think they are to tell me how I am going to think. Looking back, I must confess they were right. Many of my convictions did shift, mature, disintegrate. Despite how I may have presented back then, I did not know everything. Rather, for all the knowledge I had amassed, I was soaked in foolishness.
When I became part of the church, I garnered a whole new encyclopedia of intellect. With a voracious appetite, I consumed all the teachings offered at the religious buffet. With this freshly acquired knowledge came a renewed and even more entrenched set of convictions. Certainly, now I had it right, my convictions were church-approved. Yet as the years have unfolded, some of those apparent godly convictions have not held up. They seemed good at the time, wise even, but I recognize now it was my foolishness.
To be clear the knowledge I acquired was not foolishness, much of it played a part in transforming my life. Even my convictions were not necessarily foolish. They were motivated by a desire to honour God and lead others well. The foolishness was in how I held my convictions — tight-fisted. If anyone tried to pry a single finger open to loosen my grip on what I felt confident in knowing, I seemed to almost squeeze all the tighter. The foolishness was in how I wielded my knowledge, with an unintended arrogant dogmatism that had the power to inadvertently wound and cripple, not only others but myself as well.
And yet time and again God’s promise that “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate” (1 Cor 1:19) has come to fruition in my life, and for that I am grateful. This destruction of my worldly wisdom, this frustration of my religious intellect, continues to be an act of grace that prevents my spirit and soul from being crippled and inhibits me from wounding and frustrating the spirit and souls of others. I say "continues to be an act of grace", because even though I try and more often seek to be open hearted in what I think I know and the convictions I hold, I can still get defensive, tight fisted and dogmatic at times.
It was the tight-fisted convictions of the religious, it was those with worldly power who thought they knew better, who rejected and condemned Jesus to death by crucifixion. But it was the wisdom of God that transformed this heinous attempt to destroy into an act of love and redemptive mercy, offering forgiveness to the very ones who nailed Christ to the cross and to each of us. The wisdom of the world considers this foolishness. The knowledge of God recognizes this as the wisdom of love.
Knowledge is great, knowledge is power. How we yield that power is what establishes us as wise or foolish. Does the knowledge we have bring blessings to the nations and flourishing to all people? Or does it cripple and/or crucify?
Convictions are important. Having the courage of our convictions is admirable. It may be even more admirable to have enough courage to leave our hearts open, willing to allow our convictions to be continually challenged, shaped, and reformed by our ever-increasing knowledge of God’s foolish love for us, and all others. So, in the spirit of Lent, I remain committed to letting go of all that I think I know, in order that the Holy Spirit can help me grow. In the words of Yoda, willing to “unlearn what [I] have learned,” so that I can be increasingly led by the wisdom of God and the way of the cross.
As I look ahead to completing my doctorate, I am thankful for all the knowledge I have gained through the privilege of pursuing higher education. As I look back over my faith journey, I am grateful for all those who have poured knowledge and wisdom into my life. The most important lessons often came from those who the world would dismiss or consider foolish.
Today, I would say the greatest thing I have learned is how little I truly know. Perhaps this is the best place to be – comfortable with the mystery. As I finish writing this, out of the blue, as though it were an affirmation from Spirit, the ethereal falsetto voice of Aaron Neville frolics in my mind with the lyrics “I don’t know much, but I know [God] loves you, that may be all I need to know.” I don’t know much, but my heart, mind, soul and spirit are convinced that there is a God. A just God of love, grace, and mercy. God who loves and cares for all of creation including you. A God who is inviting us into a deeper understanding, and fuller experience of Christ’s seemingly foolish, life saving, life transforming, freedom giving forgiveness and love.
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