First Tuesday of Advent
Scripture Reading for Today:
O Come Emmanuel
I’ve always been a little afraid of the second coming of Christ. There’s a lot of good things in the world and there were so many things I wanted to experience before we were all “whisked away to that spirit in the sky.” I wanted to experience the fullest possible human experience before it was all exchanged for something spiritual. And I don’t mean all the bad things of the world. It was things like marriage, family, a good job, a nice house, a car, positions of authority in the community and the like. I thought all these things would disappear when Christ returns, which is indicative of the rapture theology I was raised in, but also the inherent privilege I grew up in.
I say this having grown up in a home filled with mental, emotional and physical abuse all fueled by a parent with significant substance abuse problems. I was privileged though in that one of my parents worked hard to mitigate those things and we had extended family that was there for us when it all fell apart. As well I was never told that I was no better than this or deserved this life for any reason. I believed it could be overcome and all those good experiences in life could still be achieved. So I didn’t need freedom from this world, just my particular situations, and then life could be fine.
Over the last couple of years, I’ve come to see this world clearer and started to long for the advent more. I’ve come to see the deep disenfranchisement the world that I thought had such hope has created for women, my brothers and sisters of colour, LGBTQ+ people, and everyone else who doesn’t make up the top couple of percent of the population. But more than that I’ve come to see the hope that the world provides is one that, if I participate in, wraps me in chains of selfishness, greed and consumerism and is only truly possible if I participate in the abuse of those marginalized people. So much of the “great life” that I thought was available, if I worked hard enough, was me looking at the lives of the “kings of the world who committed adultery with Babylon and enjoyed her great luxury”(Rev 18:3) and thinking it looked like a good life.
I’ve come to see the good life that I long for, and that I long for us all to experience, is not one that is forged in our present world, but neither is it one that requires a departure from this place. While my sense of prosperity and hope had to be challenged, so too did my understanding of what advent really meant. Christ coming isn’t about taking us away to the kingdom in the clouds or to some other place where everything will be perfect so this broken world can burn, but instead a coming to heal and restore the brokenness and injustice amongst us. And it feels like the brokenness and injustice has hit an all-time high.
Around this time last year, we began to hear about a virus in China that was spreading quickly and aggressively throughout the country. It was a virus that humans had little resistance to and dramatically affected the elderly and immunocompromised, killing many. At this time it looked like a problem “over there” but seemed pretty serious. Two months later it began to move around the world and whispers of a pandemic began. Canada had its first cases and the whisper turned into murmurs in corners. March 18th was the last physical service we had here in Winnipeg and less than half the normal attendees showed up. It began a year of virtual meetings, pandemic fear, managed and mismanaged curves and all kinds of mental and emotional stress. We moved from “it’s going to be okay” to “is it going to be okay?” to “anytime now Lord, I don’t know how much more we can take.”
In the midst of this pandemic, we watched a black man suffocate, murdered by a white policeman abusing his power. This was a catalytic death in a long list of deaths that sparked mass protests mid pandemic across many countries. The sickening truth of how deeply racist North America is was exposed for all of us who knew it was “a thing” but didn’t realize how brutal of a thing it was. This realization did little to stop the violence as more and more injustice came to light. Women killed in their sleep, men shot in the back trying to help, random shots into protest groups and black-van capture squads all happened on live television while the “leader of the free world” tear-gassed his own people for a photo op with a Bible in front of a historic church. And my voice joins the psalmist in Psalm 79 saying:
Help us, O God of our salvation!
Help us for the glory of your name.
Save us and forgive our sins
for the honour of your name.
10 Why should pagan nations be allowed to scoff,
asking, “Where is their God?”
Show us your vengeance against the nations,
for they have spilled the blood of your servants.
11 Listen to the moaning of the prisoners.
Demonstrate your great power by saving those condemned to die.
I find myself resonating with the cries of Israel as they await the Messiah. I’m no longer worried I won’t see enough, feel enough or enjoy this world before the return. The injustice, disease and hopelessness as the days get shorter and the night longer finds lament on my heart and the tiny little prayer of “come, Lord Jesus, come” occupying all my mind. I’m ready for a Messiah to come and break the powers that produce little but death and destruction and lead us into justice and mercy. It is with renewed longing—and no small amount of pain—that we sing “O Come Emmanuel” and pray for the advent.
Thank you for reading the New Leaf Advent Reader, a collection of reflections from writers across Canada. If you are enjoying the reader, sign up to receive the readings in your inbox each day here: SIGN UP
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One of the ways we have been connecting online since the pandemic pushed us online is through our Learning Centre, a weekly interactive Zoom call on a topic with a Canadian voice of wisdom. For the season of Advent, we will be featuring a few of our writers and making space to reflect together on the Advent Reader articles. Join us for the interactive sessions on Thursdays at 1:30 pm (Eastern time) or sign up and view the recordings of the sessions afterwards. SIGN UP for the Learning Centre Advent sessions.